KFC Doesn't Translate

I'm not ashamed to say that I've had my fair share of American fast food since being in London this semester. I like cheeseburgers, and McDonalds is often the cheapest and easiest place to get that accomplished (especially considering our lack of appropriate cooking tools). But today I wanted some chicken. So, remembering various KFC-sightings, I dragged Meg with me to pay the Colonel a visit, fulling expecting some good ol' American food.

Mashed potatoes and gravy. Biscuits. Cornbread. Creamy coleslaw. Finally some good baked beans. Crispy chicken, not in nugget form. No, this isn't what we got - it's simply what we wanted. Imagine our surprise when, silly us, we expected to find the same KFC-goodness in London. We searched frantically for their signature mashed potatoes. Preferably on the menu, but even a picture would be some proof. Anywhere. Potatoes? Nope. Fries were the only potato on the menu. Oh, but they did have gravy as a side, which I'm assuming is for their poor mashed potato substitute of fries.

We reluctantly ordered what I can only imagine is supposed to be a family-sized meal: 8 chicken breast strips, 2 regular boxes of popcorn chicken, 4 regular fries, 2 large sides, and 1.5 liters of Pepsi. (Don't judge, we were hungry.) Of all that food, the only thing remotely resembling American KFC was the coating on the chicken strips. Seriously disappointing. The "large" sides were about the size of the usual individually-sized side in the US, leaving Meg and I with about 4 bites of each side, one each of baked beans and coleslaw. Surely, though they were small, they would be classic KFC. Not so. The coleslaw was bland as were the beans, which I have no doubt were of the Heinz variety. (It is here that I am going to officially say that Heinz should not make anything other than ketchup. Stick to your strengths, guys.) The popcorn chicken, while tasty, were not American popcorn chicken. Four "regular" french fries - read: smaller than a McDonalds' small fry each - will never ever, no matter how hard they try, take the place of those scrumptious mashed potatoes. Not even with a little gravy. And I'm still missing the biscuits and cornbread.